Adidas launches Protesting Shoes

Herzogenaurach (Germany): In a press conference yesterday, Herbert Hainer, CEO of Adidas, launched new type of shoes, Herbert said, "These shoes are perfect example of innovation! No one has even dared to think like his before, we made shoes multi-purpose." Then he removed the cloth from the box at his side and showed the world new type of shoes and said " These shoes are called, 'Protesting Shoes'." None of the reporters were sure what these shoes are exactly but all of them clapped nevertheless.
Our reporters were first to understand the concept. These shoes were made for protesters all over the world. Herbert continued, " Throwing shoes at politicians is a trend now. The trend was started by Muntadhar al-Zaidi in Iraq, our company, as always is a first identifier of an emerging trend. We understand the public demand and are ready with our new product. "

Model displaying protesting shoes, it should be noted that emphasize here is on how hard it will hit, not on design. Genius.

We asked how they are different from everyday, casual shoes. Hainer answered, " Obviously, you can use any shoe to throw, but answer me a simple question. How many of these shoes have actually got there aim? No one. And this is the main problem. We have solved these problem with two-steps. Firstly, we made our shoes really lite. Second step is really awesome! We have added sensors in our shoes. Suppose, today I want to throw shoe at Arnab Goswami, you all know even while sitting during a debate at his prime time show, he shifts his whole body sometimes towards right, sometimes towards left, now it will be very difficult for me to aim at him. But these shoes have in-built sensors, all I will have to do now is throw these shoes towards him, and they will hit him automatically.".
Maybe for the first time, both BJP and Congress have same point of view. Both of them do not want these shoes to be launched in India. It is possible that they are denying both know that they are the ones those shoes will be thrown at. Kapil Sibal said, " We are subject to these shoe-throwing game, till now we were spared somehow because of bad aim of protestors.". Even L. K. Advani supported Sibal, "I absolutely second Sibal on this, I am one of the 'survivors' of shoeing. We will declare bandh next week."
There are unconfirmed reports that Manmohan Singh is going for indefinite hunger strike at Jantar Mantar from tomorrow. He is protesting so that Sonia Gandhi agrees and give order to him so he can ban the entry of these shoes. But he will only protest if police allowed him to do so. 

SC: Newly designed currency notes to be used when bribing

New Delhi: According to a landmark decision by Supreme Court, whenever an Indian citizen will give bribe to a government official, he will use a newly designed currency note.Though the layout will be the same, 'new' currency notes will be significantly different from old, regular one. Our reporters asked Pranab Mukherjee, finance minister, the rational behind this decision, he said, "We all know Lokpal bill is heading nowhere, but as you know how efficient we are, we accepted our limits that we will never be able to control corruption in India, so why not invent a method, which will make corruption easy and quick for both parties."

He understood our reporters needed more explanation, he gasped and said " New currency notes will only be of one denomination, that is Rs. 1000, this will help bribe-takers as minimum bribe will be Rs 1000 and it will help bribe givers as they can now show this expenditure in there tax return and this expenditure will also give them tax relief.".
Our reporters asked for a bribe-note to show it  as a sample to our readers, but when they got it, it was taken away from them as a bribe. Though our reporters took a good look at a note and according to them, there are some major changes in note.
First of all, it is of same color as standard 1000 rupees note, that is red. We think it is because this money is people's khoon paseene ki mehnat, so red color. There is picture of Suresh Kalmadi instead of Mahatma Gandhi. there is signature of A Raja instead of governor. There is white area in a note where you can see Gandhi's photo when you see it against a light, this note will show picture of Harshad Mehta. On the backside, you will see a satellite, some crops, oil extracting machines etc in regular note, but in this note you will see, Aadarsh society building, Games Village and Satyam's logo. And on the extreme left there is 1000 rupees written in 15 languages in regular note, but in this note there are top fifteen scams in Indian history, some of them are, 2G spectrum scam, Commonwealth Scam, Telgi Scam,  Bofor Scam etc.
Dr. Manmohan Singh partied all night long as now he will not be bugged by L. K. Advani over these never ending lists of scams, "Now who is weak?". Asked much relaxed prime minister.